Monday, October 22, 2007

Parent Teacher Knitting Conference

My parents enter the classroom and sit in very comfortable chairs with excellent lighting. Room is littered with charts, cable needles, sweaters in the steeking process, and posters.

Poster on door to classroom : Swatch aloud with your child every night!

Poster of the yarn pyramid clipped to chalkboard. Bottom of the pyramid is malabirgo, top of the pyramid is angora.

Note waiting for my parents on coffeetable next to comfortable chairs reads:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Welcome to our room. I like snack time. Sometimes we knit outside.


Teacher enters with smart glasses hanging momentarily mid-chest where they rest on a Alice Starmore designed sweater in
breathtaking warm color scheme. She pats my mothers hand says,

"so YOU'RE Kathy b's parents. Here are some of her swatches"............

Mostly garter and stockinette squares appear in front of them. My mother says, "Oh well now, it gives her something to do. I love the cute dishcloths she makes for me"

My father interrupts, "You should SEE the things my mother and aunt used to knit. I have a pair of hunting gloves, I'd just love to have you fix. My mother could darn anything, boy was she good. Has Kathy brought my golf club covers in to show the class. My sister knit them you know-"

Teacher picks up her knitting effortlessly and resumes steaking while maintaining eye contact with parents and nodding reassuringly.

"Well, we are almost out of time here," teacher says gracefully. "I just love havng kathy b in class. I'd love to see her try a 12 row pattern repeat this semester. Her passion for knitting really comes through in her extra credit blog. She has a tendency to knit the same things over and over, however. We all know she can knit in the round, but she could really gain confidence by trying a seam now and then. If you could encourage her to get outside her comfort zone with socks and top down raglans, her confidence might really start to grow."

Parents continue talking and looking around room at other knitter's perfect work, during goals portion of conference. They pay particular attention to granddaughter Allison's complex cable work and fairisle knits. "Now ALLISON, She's a KNITTER, my father boasts proudly."

"Oh well now, Kath tries hard," my mom defends with a smile and a wink to the teacher.

Teacher ushers Kathy B's parents warmly out of the room, to line of anxiously waiting parents in the hall.

Makes quick note in Kathy B's chart as next couple enters classroom: "Will arrange for tutor."


Allison said...

You are a dork! You are a way better knitter than Auntie El. And I like your dishcloths (x-mas hint)

Bernadette said...

ROFL!!! I love Allison's comment!! I very much doubt you need a tutor - maybe just a little after-class help once or twice (more for hand-holding than real help!!)

I know what you mean about staying in your "comfort zone"... But in my case, it was partly that fear that caused me to take over a year to finish my first baby sweater! Once I finally made up my mind to do it and finished the seaming (after ripping and re-doing it several times, it's true...), it took no time at all to finish two more sweaters. Now I am a lot more comfortable with seaming and using the mattress stitch.

With your knitting skills, I am absolutely sure you can do anything if you put your mind to it!!

Karen said...

SEAMING!! That's why my son's sweater is still only a back (and that's not even to the armhole decreases). From what you have shown us, I think you're a wonderful knitter.

Anonymous said...

Hhmmph. Sounds to me like that teacher needs to understand that developmentally, everyone is different. Not everyone knits at the same pace. Surely there's a knitter's version of Dr Spock she could check??

Pat K said...

That teacher would have to keep me in after school for remedial "remember to count the stitches on your needle" class for individuals like me who somehow gained half a dozen stitches from one end of a garter stitch scarf to the other over the weekend.

Turtle said...

Lol, i think i would have held back and kept for detention every day!

~Kristie said...

You are so clever! That was so fun to read & you MUST submit that for one of the future Yarnival issues!

Jennifer said...

Ooh - what a great idea. Maybe I'll try that one for the upcoming parent teacher conferences. I'll just tell them "Kathy B made me do it"

Lynne said...

oh, my word. You are too funny. And the excuse "the dog ate my homework" has actually happened in my knitting family!

Ling said...

That made me laugh! My report would say - Ling needs to be more focused, she's constantly distracted by new things. Please make sure she finishes at least 2 thiings before starting new ones.

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