Thursday, February 01, 2007

Superbowl definitions for this knitter....

1. Tackling: General term used by knitters to describe item being knit for a Christmas gift on or about December 23rd.

2. Special Teams: Those who do finishing work at my LYS.

3. Punt: Innovative knitting usually brought on by refusal to admit mistake and fear of ripping. Not always successful.

4. Safety: The string on stitches used in lace knitting for the inevitable rip back after knitting without complete focus and concentration for at least one minute which often leads to UFOs.

5. False start: Often encountered when one hasn't read the pattern in it's entirety at least 3 times before forging ahead with new delicious yarn that one cannot resist casting on with immediately after purchase.

6. Tight end: Too few stitches stretching across one's backside because the pattern was knit for a model who can fit in a size 4 anything and you cannot. Can be remedied by complicated mathematical process described in Stitches Class and since forgotten.

7. Blocking: Term which brings fear to this knitter. Involves special boards and takes up space in house usually occupied by cats who decide to lay upon the knitting anyhow.

8. Fumble: Searching through one's project bag for stitching, scissors, size one needles and measuring tape shaped like lamb.
Other use: Efforts to explain new yarn purchase while unexpectedly bumping into husband at the back door when you thought he was in the basement fixing yarn swift for you.

9. Bears: Irresistible knitted stuffed toy given amid "oooooh"s from the crowd at the baby shower.

10. Illegal use of the hands: Knitting near chocolates.

Go Bears.

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Karen said...

Brilliant!!!! Finally, some football terms I can understand. :) Love it - great job!

Laura said...

I love this. Too funny.
Go Bears!!!

Jane said...

Go Bears!!

Elizabeth said...

Kathy, This is so funny and such creative thinking!!!!!!! Good job!!!!!

Ewe-niss said...

Fabulous! I identify with 'punt' and 'false start'. :-) Thank you for the morning laugh.

Kim said...

That is very funny! And timely, too!

Birdsong said...

Oh this was just great! I won't be watching the game and was grateful to do the shopping with very little crowds, but know a LOT about football, thanks to my dad, and can really relish these new definitions:)

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