Saturday, August 01, 2015

Mom's Advice

 I had another great week visiting my mom in the nursing home. 
She was sleepy but fun.  
I reminded her of the times we went to the lake and woods as a family.   She said she didn't remember but she laughed and responded in phrases that are just MY mom. 

Mom insisted we learn to swim, because she never did. 
Thanks Mom. I Love to swim. 

She also insisted on telling us over and over that we should NEVER go camping when we had our period. We were most certain to draw hungry, young ,girl- eating -bears to us and die a crampy miserable death. 

Mom is practical.  Who wants to camp with your period anyhow? 

Mom lives the Golden Rule.  The only person I ever saw her be "mean" if you could call it that, to....
was my father. This was on very very few occasions over their long and difficult marriage. 
My mother is a saint of a wife. 
St. Wife. 

Mom was big on quitting. Dad was not. 
If you were frustrated and she could see it, she'd say,
"Oh quit, who cares?"
I think there is value in this as a parent. 
She also was keenly aware of my fragile nervous system and I think she knew not to push me to the limits of my inherited depression tendencies.  

She was my right arm when I was pregnant with Zachary. 
When Fireman was working every 3rd day for 24 hours and Al was being a darling nonstop 2 year old, she showed up.
She let me vomit in peace. 
She understood morning/all day sickness. 
She took care of my precious baby Al while I was crying, and nausea and overwhelmed with 3 months of yuck. 

During 2 depressive episodes in my 40s and 50s, my mom was amazing.  She called me every day.  She told me it would get better. She let me cry.  She took me with her to the grocery store just to get me to leave the house. 
She prayed to the Blessed Mother continuously for me. 
When I got worse, she put the Blessed Mother in the freezer. 
(have I told you this? ) 
She said she wasn't listening so she had to put her in the freezer. 
I was so distraught ....I'd say, OH mom take her out of the freezer please.  
She said, her cousin had to do this once and it worked. 

(I put my Blessed Mother in the freezer for ONE day, last year when Zach got bit by a wild dog in Mexico) 

She loved her naps. 
I say to her now, Mom did you get a nap today?
"boy did I!" she tells me and smiles.  

Where has this post gone?  
Yes, we are nutty. 
But my mom is the best mom you could ask for. 
She would lay down her life for her kids. 

It is funny but I couldn't write this for Mother's day. 
Holidays are so loaded with emotion.
So I'm glad I could write this today.
Thanks for praying for my  mom. 
She would just love you all!  




19 comments:

Tired Teacher said...

I'm glad you've had some good visits with your Mother lately. Keep sharing your memories with her because you never know which ones will trigger another memory for her. Treasure these visits and lock them in your heart.

Patty said...

Great post :-) yesterday would have been my Mom's 87th birthday. I miss her. Lucky us to have had great Moms.

Dee said...

I am so happy for your wonderful relationship with your mom. She sounds like a wonderful and creative woman. AND, she raised a wonderful, creative, loving daughter.

Your joy in your cats is part of the reason we took in Giroux. We wanted some of that wonderful joy AND we GOT it.

Wanderingcatstudio said...

LOVE your Mom's camping advice! Brilliant!

Araignee said...

Lovely tribute!

Donna Boucher said...

Oh I love this sweet post filled with great stories!! I lie your mom and I love you. Mary in the freezer is the bomb.....pop :)

Marguerite said...

Great writing Kathy. I feel like I know your mom now. Beautiful.

Marguerite said...

Great writing Kathy. I feel like I know your mom now. Beautiful.

Marguerite said...

Great writing Kathy. I feel like I know your mom now. Beautiful.

KSD said...

What a wonderful post. And a set of precious memories. My mother told me I shouldn't wash my hair during my period. And I got out of a LOT of canning, because certain foods would spoil if I helped with them during my period. (?!)

Putting the Blessed Mother in the freezer is such a mother thing to do! "You aren't doing what I asked you to do --- time out for you!"

Teresa Kasner said...

Kathy, I can so relate on this time with your mom. My mom had Alzheimers and I remember how it felt when she forgot who I was. You just have to just hug and listen and tell them you love them. Sending you my hugs and good thoughts. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

knitterbeader said...

Good to hear you and your mom can still laugh together. I suppose with Alzheimers you not only can't remember those close to you, but you also forget all the bad things in your past. I have a sister-in-law who has been in an Alzheimers facility for 2 years now - it is so hard on my brother. She is combative, but still recognizes him, but doesn't remember me. Love your Blue Moon picture. Sure was bright in our sky night before last. Last night (the true Blue Moon date) we had thunder, lightning, wind and rain so we couldn't see the moon.

tamknots said...

Very touching! I lost my mom when I was 26, and I also could not blog on Mother's Day. Thanks for sharing.

Marilyn K said...

What a great post! Your mom's camping advice sounds very wise to me. How blessed you are to have her as your mom. And she is equally blessed, I am sure.

SissySees said...

Holy Mary, the frozen mother. Never heard of that, and I thought with my Scot-Irish-Catho-palian roots I'd heard it all!! I'm so glad you have sweet memories. I'm not sure it's wonderful that we've figured out how to make the body last longer than the mind... oxoxo

Nancy Kay said...

A very sweet post!

Mereknits said...

I love this post Kathy, yea for great and funny Mom's that have your back all through your life. I hope I am one like that. I hope my son who has some severe sensitivity issues feels I was always there to help him through the hard parts.

You are the best have I told you that lately?
Meredith

karen said...

I love your mom, she has been on my prayer list since you mentioned her a while back. I lost my mom when I was 34 yo and I do miss her but amazingly my sister and my Aunt (mom's sis) filled in those precious gaps my mom left and they are no where near what my mom was, I am happy with what I have. Your mom sounds like a "smart cookie" and quitting is fine if that is what you want.

elns said...

Fantastic post Kathy. Thanks for letting me meet your mother again. This visit I really felt like I got to know her and appreciate her probably just a spoonful of how you feel about her, but it's big and it's all good, my friend. I'm so glad you and your family have this woman and her amazing support and patience. How much do I love the freezer story? It's a good thing I don't have a walk in, there'd be a lot of people I'd be sticking in there to see if it would get them to listen. xoxo

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