Monday, March 26, 2012

Emergency Tips

I love PicMonkey. I edited this morning's image of Radar and the shawl progress.......I realize by doing this you cannot see either object well, but I like the colors! No true progress to show here, but I am loving knitting this garter shawl.....

Al and I had an interesting chat the other day. Here are some of her opinions after working in the ER for a bit. Remember these are educated opinions, not meant to diagnose!

*I can't diagnose your rash over the phone...
(Really? I guess this means you can't fix my dropped stitch or lace mistake over the phone either....geez)

*Fracture folks, means broken. If I tell you its broken, don't ask me if it is fractured too.

*To really dose your child correctly medicines need to be adjusted to weight. And while we are on it, Tylenol is acetaminophen. Cold Medicines often contain Tylenol so watch that you don't over do it by giving both.

*Your stitches are not going to dissolve...unless you went to the OR to have them put in.

*CT scans can't diagnose concussions.

*I've never seen lock jaw myself, but go ahead and let us give you that Tetanus shot. If you are over 65 you get tetanus and dpt. IF you are under 65 you get pertussis, with it too.

*Go ahead and tell me you have had a PILL PROBLEM. Say it like this: I had a PEEL problem...
I know what this won't be getting narcotics from me.

*If you really can't keep anything down including tylenol, they make cheap rectal suppositories that are available at every drug store. Save your self the cost of an ER visit.

*If you nearly choked to death and didn't need the Heimlich, you can stay home. If someone Heimlich'd you do come in.

*ANY near drowning absolutely should be brought to the ER.

*If you've had this pain for 3 weeks why now, at zero dark thirty must you come in and complain that you are waiting to be seen. ?

*Most people are sicker than you are in the ER. Be thankful for that and wait your turn.

*We take pride in getting your IV in. IF we miss, we are ALMOSt as upset as you are...

*If you hide drugs in a bag inside your vagina they typically won't MELT and overdose you...just saying. You have other problems.....clearly.

That's it! Hope you enjoyed the little bit of sarcasm this morning!


SissySees said...

Ahhhh... memories! I had a long walk down memory lane last night about my years as a medic. Isn't it funny what some people count as an emergency?

gMarie said...

Oh that's too funny! g

Katherine said...

Sounds like some of the conversations I've had with DD during her children's hospital ER days (18 years of them). It wasn't the kids they had problems with, it was the parents who thought their child's sniffles were worse than that other kid's compound fracture.

Bless you Al!!

Kathryn said...

Really funny! Love, Bouf

Anonymous said...

I ended up in the ER on Christmas morning one year. I had cut through the bone in my middle finger.

The lady in the room next to me was there for a sore throat that she had had for a week.

She was annoyed that the girl next to me (needing major facial stitches) and I got served first.


sapphireblue said...

Oh! Me, me! I'll contribute.

If you list yourself as anonymous when you admit to the hospital, that means even the switchboard operator (me) won't know you're here. So don't tell you mom, co-workers, grandma, church friends if you want to be anonymous!!

Beverly said...

Too funny! Having worked in a hospital earlier in my life I can relate.

Jennifer said...

ROTFL - of course you know they're thinking "She'll never know I'm lying" - as if you've never heard that one before! Sigh!

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